Adventure Time with Sun and Son
by Akhilleus
Summary: After Percy Jackson's tragic death, he is offered a second chance at life. Adopted by the god of 'awesome and sexy', Apollo, Percy trains to become the best. Apollo sends him on quests to piss off hunters, kill monsters, and steal stuff. Fake names, loads of fun, and tons of trouble plague our hero as he struggles to prove himself to Apollo. NO SLASH, NO GAY LOVE.
1. Prologue

**Not sure what category this will be in, I'll just go with the flow.**

**I'll update maybe once a week to once a month, so patience shall be appreciated. If I don't update, don't go ballistic, as I have a packed schedule, with things like school and baseball. And important things like Minecraft and sleeping.**

**Also, try to excuse cheesy puns and extremely obvious miss spelling, they are most likely on purpose. Or at least that's what I say. (Plus I use Word-pad, so there isn't any word checking device, so I will try to fix the errors that aren't meant to be later on)**

**Feel free to throw up suggestions, and I enjoy y'all haters, give me stuff to think on. Bring on the criticizing!**

**I'll try to make this original, so ... enjoy.**

**P.S. The whole story will be in Percy P.O.V., just in case you were wondering.**

**Disclaimer : This story be mine. PJO, HOO, and all characters of PJO, and HOO belong to Rick Riordan, who is not me, sadly.**

**P.J. P.O.V.**

I took a look at my miserable existence, and I began to feel bad, nay, downright horrible. Living on the street, hardly any real friends, disowned, exiled, and single to boot really sucks, I would know. Gods, I feel terrible. Gods, screw you.

I loved Annabeth so much, and she loved me, too. We were going to become married, have children, and be old, but my perfect life was ruined for me. Cough *bitch* cough. Leaning back on my dumpster, I remembered all of my girlfriend's time with me, and how we squandered it earlier on, on stupid arguments. If only we hadn't been so young, so ignorant, so.. so childish. *sniff*. I told myself right then that I would never love another woman again. Thinking on that, I swore not to love a man either, because that's kind of... weird.

Using a few *_magazines*_ I had found for a pillow, and using a blanket I'd snatched from a woman earlier, I began to drift off, forgetting that it was the middle of the day.

Then, I smelled through my nose and started a coughing fit, "Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violent" I shouted. Annabeth had told me that a good way to relieve stress was to use a very colorful vocabulary.

A few gangsters looked at me strangely, and walked away while shaking their heads. Deciding to investigate, I took my trusty pants, err whats left of them, and followed with my hand firmly gripped around Riptide. Stealthy sprinting after them, I tripped over a child's skateboard, which he had kicked at me while I was running.

"God damn Tyke" I said under my breath. 'Whoosh' In all of her glory, a goddess fell from the sky, managing to land on a trampoline that was traveling in the back of a truck, do a flip, and slide down a light pole perfectly.

"I am the goddess Tyche," she began, "and for using my name in vain, you shall suffer ill fortune for the rest of your life."

I tried to stop her, and say it was a mistake, I really did, but I bit my tongue in the process. "Shit" I spat out, spraying the goddess with a red speckled liquid. Blood. She frowned. Double shit. Then poof, she disappeared with a cloud of smoke, causing me to fall, and choke due to the dust everywhere. Walking across the street, I was hit by two cars, a delivery truck, and an ambulance.

I didn't see the point of living a life like this, so I was going to go ask Zeus to kill me... nah, to mainstream, I think I'll just jump off a building or something.

I got to the top of the department store, after both elevators breaking down, and the fire alarm locking me on the stairs. Leaning over the edge, someone walked up behind me, causing me to jump forward... 10 stories and 12 seconds later I was peeling my destroyed clothes off of the pavement, cursing my Achilles heel.

I decided to get it over and pulled out my sword, preparing to stab it into my back, my Achilles heel. SHLLICckKkkKk. Pain, agonizing, sheer, devastatingly painful pain. 'Well duh' were my last thought before I blacked out.

* * *

I appeared in Charon's death shop, or whatever it was, and realized I didn't have any money to pay for the boat ride. A great start to death. Perhaps since I'm dead, my bad luck will disappear now. Hopefully. Walking up to the creepy man at the front desk, I asked for a ride.

"Yeah, sure." He started off conversationally, "Just for you."

I was confused, because THAT was definitely too easy. Shrugging and walking onto the boat, I waited for the man to arrive I realized that my spirit was more clearly defined then all the rest around me.

"First stop, Hell" the shady ferryman called out. Passing Cerberus, I was glad I was a spirit, 'cause he was doggone intimidating. Between the three heads, giant form, and slobber everywhere, I didn't think I could find the guts to fight him.

"We're here" His voice rang out again, reminding me of nails scratching on a chalkboard.

Excited to see all of my friends, I began to move speedily towards the entrances, but before I could make it, a chilly voice split the air, like a shrill whistle. "Perseus Allen Jackson!" I cringed as I turned around, seeing the fury Alecto. "Hades wants to see you," She spat out darkly, "NOW!"

I broke into a run at where I thought the palace of Hades was. Finding it easily, I raised my hand to knock, when the door opened by itself. Seeing no reason to delay, I went Inside, straight through the Atrium and passing by the dining room along the way to death's throne.

Looking ahead dutifully, I clenched my jaw and walked up to the magnificent seat, kneeling and bowing my head in respect to the intimidating deity.

"Ah... Percy, Percy, Percy, what a pleasant surprise! You don't know how long I've waited for a person to, ahem, experiment on." He started, surprising me with his rather sound English and manners.

"Yes sir," I replied, still on the ground.

Hades studied me before saying "How would you like to have a second try? I give all heroes the chance, so no need to fear anything." Too say he surprised me was an understatement. "How about it? You could even mend all of those relationships you ruined."

"I guess I don't have the heart to say no to that..." This was a very unique experience, getting along almost well with a god.

"Alright," He announced after a careful study of me. "Answer this question ASAP, got it?"

I speedily said "Affirmative," not realizing that that was not the question. He chuckled slightly, bring the freezing room's temperature up a few degrees.

"Alright, if you could have one thing right now, what would it be?" He questioned me.

I quickly thought of how cold, dark, and damp it was in here. I uttered the words "Heat, light and dry" out, causing Hades to cackle maniacally.

'Have fun he tells me'. Have fun? It's a good thing he's married to the goddess of the harvest, 'cause it doesn't much cornier than that. Then it all went black.


	2. Finders Keepers

**I'm Back! O.k., so maybe it's been less than a week since mah last update, but I couldn't wait.**

**Once again, I 3 haters and reviewers, so send me anything you want to happen, and I'll do my best to incorporate it. **

**Changed the description to something a ton better, and remember to review/favorite.**

**Also, I'm gonna add a quote each chapter pertaining to one of the characters featured in the chapter, just 'cause.**

_Italics shall be thoughts in Percy's head from now on_

**Disclaimer : PJO, HOO, and all characters belonging to PJO, and HOO belong to Rick Riordan, who is not, sadly, me.**

**Back to the story!**

* * *

"The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt."

- Bertrand Russell

* * *

Groaning, or at least trying to, I began to get up, but fell. Looking down, I noticed my once 6'1 height was now only 5'2, and my musculature was diminished to a skinny frame. _Dang_, I thought, _I look like Will Solace. _Standing up, I glanced upward, then I fell down again.

In front of me stood the most amazing building I had ever seen, I was gob smacked. The magnanimous structure seemed to be at least 50 stories tall, and bigger than a block of houses. Elegant towers at each of the four corners manned by soldiers with bows in bright orange uniforms. The thing was colored bright gold, and I was inclined to believe it was real gold, not paint. The gate to the yard of the perfect palace probably was worth more than everything I own. Which wasn't much. This place dwarfed all of the other humble mansions scattered along the paved road.

I walked up to this chateau in awe, forgetting all of my previous woes and stood in front of it, basking in it's glory. I was loitering for about an hour when out of nowhere, I was surrounded by those guards I had seen earlier. The only thing was, they were on fire, no, they were made of fire.

I reached for riptide, and realized I had no weapons, baring and waving my fists I attempted to scare them. It didn't work in the slightest. One of them pulled out a tube, and whoosh, I noticed something flying towards me. Rolling out of the way, I put all of my attention on the one in front of me.

Feeling something prick my neck, I reached up. A dart. Shit. Once again, everything went black.

* * *

As I slowly faded back into consciousness, I mentally slapped myself for being stupid. _Annabeth would kill me, ugh. _My head was spinning. _Who's Annabeth? _Right then, I realized I didn't remember anything about my life. I could recall details about my limited vocabulary, history, and the gods.

I pried my eyes open, gazing around the room slowly, taking in every detail. It was a large hospital, with technology Hephaestus would be jealous of. Except he probably made it. There were at least 50 beds spread out around the room, each with an end table, a chest and some things on the end table. ambrosia and nector, the food and drink of the gods. One side of the room was a large window, showing off the beauty of the palace, while the other wall had many doors.

I tried to get up, but shot back under the covers when an alarm went off. I began to pretend to sleep, but I knew I wouldn't be able to pull it off with tha gods awful alarm blaring incessantly.

One of the doors opened, and I heard footsteps walk up to me. I immediately regretted pretending to sleep, because this guy must have been a psychic or something.

Two minutes later, I was sitting, shivering on my soaked bed, with chattering teeth and soggy clothes. I was not a happy camper.

"Our little guest is finally awakes," the man said, "of course, I can do anything."

I glanced up, forgetting about my discomfort. The man had to be 6'6, at least, and looked like a god. He had a magnificent smile, shiny, pearly whites, and eyes that screamed mischief. He had on a pair of gold Nike slides, tan cargo's and a shirt that had 'Get some' on it. He seemed be contemplating what to do with me, when a light appeared above his head with a ding.

Cracking a smile at his antics, I asked him a question "Who are you?"

He replied instantly with a smirk full of swagger "I am Apollo, god of prophecies, the sun, awesomeness, sexiness, and archery. Who are you?"

I thought for a while, then realized I didn't know. I didn't have a name that I could remember, any deeds I could boast, or any people I could ask about it. I shrugged.

"Since I caught you trying to rob my awesome palace, I can do whatever I want with you!" He began before cackling evilly.

I tried to argue, but he shook it off. "Finders keepers, losers weepers." he said.

"But I wasn't even on your property!" I returned "And you can't keep me, I'm a person."

"I, Apollo, make you, whoever you are, my guardian. You will uphold my creed, and follow it's rules until your death. Understand? Good" He declared, without giving me a chance to decline. A bright, yellow light lit up the room,and I looked down.

He handed me a mirror. _Damn_, I thought, _I'm hot._ I really was. I instead of being small, thin, and not looking good, I was small, thin and looking good. I had hair that was golden blond, and eyes that were pure gold in the iris. Wait, the iris or the retina? _Doesn't matter_, I declared to myself. My skin was now tan, and smooth. My eyebrows were perfect, and the rest of my facial hair was gone.

"Thanks," I told him, "I think." What did I have to do as a guardian, and why would he make me his guardian?

"Muhaha," he laughed, took a breath and continued, "Haha. Now you are mine. I will always know where you are, and what you are doing, also. I can kill you at will, so you must do what I tell you!" He seemed to think he had accomplished something, and bragged to himself about his 'awesomeness' and 'geniousity' for another minute before remembering I was still there.

"First things first, you need to get comfortable with all of your new abilities," He started again, "close your eyes."

I did, then I felt like I was free falling, which was scaring me for some unfathomable reason. I listened closely and heard a distant "Open your eyes, kiddo!" Obeying the command, I dry-heaved when I saw that I was falling. I curled into a ball, and prayed to Apollo, hoping that he knew what he was doing. 5 seconds. 10 seconds. 23 seconds until I rammed into the ground at an extreme velocity, jarring my whole body. "Glargh," I mumbled, feeling everyone of the broken bones in my body, and the ones out of it, too. 'Pop', and here the mastermind himself.

"Geez, kiddo," and that annoying voice starts again, "Your supposed to land!"

I looked up, mouth in a fierce expression, and glared at Apollo. With my broken bones sticking out my body, bloody face, and intimidating glare, I made him step back. "Land it, you say..." I was shocked at how much of a dick he was. "Show me how it's done, your awesomeness."

'Snap', and he was gone. I looked up and saw a speck in the sun. That's right, I said I was staring at the sun, I guess his guardian thingy help me. The speck was coming closer, and getting bigger. A small flame appeared around it, making for one bad ending. Or so I thought. And hoped. Squinting my eyes, I saw that the cocky god was doing flips, twists and every trick imaginable. I shook my head. When he was about to hit the ground, he was inverted, head about to slam into the ground, and his back slightly arched, arms outstretched. He rolled. That bastard just did a 200+ foot dive, then rolls at the bottom. Springing up, he landed right in front of me.

Right then, he gave some amazing advice. "Hey kiddo, since I'm the god of the sun, you should go into the sunlight, it will heal you, make you sharper, and stronger."

I groaned and cursed while standing up, climbing out of the hole I had made. The sun hit me, and everything seemed to get better. My broken bones slowly mended, the grime melted off of me, and my posture straightened. I felt like a new man.

"Alright, here's how it happens," he proclaimed "Either you fix up that hole, or you do your landing again."

I told him I wanted to do the landing, and he replied "Correctly this time, or it won't count."

'Pop', I was free falling again, my hospital gown flapping noisily. I steeled myself, and plummeted gracefully down, headfirst, with a slightly arched back. The ground was rushing to meet me, and I felt the excitement course through my veins. This was how I was supposed to do it. '_Think like Apollo, do like Apollo, be Apollo'_ I thought, before I realized what I was thinking. My hands touched the ground first, and I gave way to the ground, letting my head come in contact before my back, hands and legs. I executed it almost perfectly. What I didn't count on was the following roll afterwards that continued for twenty or so feet.

I stood up, looking for the deity, but fell down when I realized how dizzy the rolls had made me. After a few seconds of sun bathing, I got up again, and walked towards Apollo. "Oh my gosh, did you see that?" I asked him excitedly,"THAT, was the best feeling ever!"

Apollo looked at me before replying "Maybe for now, but that will come later on, my apprentice. Clean up that hole, then come in for dinner."

I looked at him. Then at the hole. Then at him. "But, you said, uh, ah, ugh." I uttered incoherently.

He told me to go cry about it, and he popped off, leaving a shovel in his place. I cleaned up the hole, and walked inside, the sun setting. I took a look around the manner, finding the dining room at the very last room on the first floor. I didn't know what he needed that many bathrooms for on the first floor, but who am I to tell him that.

Three hours later, Apollo walked in, with some 'Gods 2 Go' fast food. He put it down, then walked away. I ignored him, and devoured the delicious food he had brought me. It was pizza, my favorite. After I demolished the whole thing, I noticed a piece of paper in the corner, telling me that my room was on the fourth floor, right hallway, all the way on the far side of the staircase.

I got up to my room, fell on my king size bed, and I was immediately sleeping.


	3. Cloak and Daggers

**For those of you that haven't noticed, the chapters are about one day each, which may or may not change.**

**Also, Percy will be nicknamed soon, and I will put down '...' P.O.V., instead of Percy. It is the same person.**

**Disclaimer : PJO, HOO, and all characters belonging to PJO, and HOO belong to Rick Riordan, who is not, sadly, me.**

**Enough idling, back to the story!**

"I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."

- Ludwig Wittgenstein

Percy P.O.V.

_Gods_, I thought, _I hate Apollo_. I've been running on the track every day for about a month now, and my feet hurt a crap ton. Although I'm able to run farther faster, I still wish I could sleep in past six o'clock. Every day I'm woken up by Apollo, and it seems to be by a different prank.

On the first Monday, he put baby soap on my hands, then tickled my face with a feather and I slept right through it. When I got out of the shower, well, let's just say my face was cleaner than usual.

On Tuesday, he put cologne de shite right under my nose, and I spent all day trying to figure out why everything smelled bad.

Wednesday was, well, never mind. I was not liking this arrangement much. I guess I decided to try to be a lighter sleeper from about a week after these wonderful mornings.

I would run around the track, doing sprints, running long distance, and basically anything else to tormen- err, whip me into shape. All the while Apollo would be riding next to me in his brand new golden, air conditioned, shaded Porsche, shouting encouraging things, like 'I can do this all day!', and 'I'm not getting tired at all!" Occasionally, meaning often, he would take joy laps and use his Hephaestus upgraded engine to go into the 300 MPH range. His license plate was a customized 'BURNED', and the tires pimped out, making the accessories look to be worth as much as the car, most made of pure gold.

After I would finish my time on the track, I would be used as a punching bag as Apollo 'taught me to fight'. I think he was just trying to build up my pain tolerance. I would finish 'training' with Apollo, then we would take a lunch 'break'. These breaks usually consisted of a quickly made sand-which, water, and Apollo 'letting' me do yard-work for him, during the heat of the day in the house of the sun-god. Whenever I came back out, it seemed that the weeds had regrown, more hedges would appeared and have to be trimmed, and the grass was, once again, uneven and needed to be cut.

Whenever I would ask Apollo why I had to do this, he would reply "You don't have to, you get to!" Smart-Ass.

The last thing my day consisted of fighting dummies... while my body was covered in hot, black clothing. I usually held my own, sometimes doing better, sometimes worse than usual.

The worst part about this training was that I had to where weights on my body, even while doing yard work. It was just enough weight to have me collapse, exhausted, into my bed at the end of each day, slightly increasing amounts each day.

Well, as I had thought before, it was getting infuriating to be stuck in the mansion for so long, so I decided to confront Apollo on it.

I found him at the table, like every other morning, and I decided to make my move.

"Hey Apollo, can-" I began.

"Hey is for horses!" He interrupted without even looking up.

I decided to humor him. "Salutations my great lord of the solar domain," I paused, waiting the inevitable comment that didn't seem to come, "could you let me out of the house on a quest, or something?"

"I could." He was really infuriating me, but I kept my cool.

"Will you let me out of the house?" I asked again.

"I will" I could see myself strangling him in my head, and was wondering if such thoughts were beneficial to my cause. Probably not.

"Then please do it!" I told him exasperated

"Okay, okay. Geez, no need to get stingy about it" he replied, still looking down, I don't even know why he was doing that. "Okay, P.J., I have a quest for you!" Where does he come up with this stuff, I mean P.J., come on now.

"How did you come up with P.J.?" I inquired.

"Well, you're probably sixteen or so, right?" I nodded "P is the sixteenth letter of the alphabet, got it."

"Where'd ya get the J from?" I thought his explanation was pretty good, at least so far it was.

He told me it was because J is the tenth letter of the alphabet, and I looked like a ten year old.

"Oi!" I yelled indignantly, "I look like a sixteen year old!"

Snigger...

Snigger...

"Maybe a midget sixteen year old," He argued.

"Whatever, what do I have to do?" I just wanted to get away from him.

"Before you go, I have something for you," he told me. Reaching into his pants, he pulled out a beautiful set of blades. One of them read ήλιος, or sun. The other blade, slightly shorter, had the word υἱός inscribed on it, meaning son. I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded.

"Treat them well," He whispered. I could tell that they meant something to him.

Pointing to the map that he was looking down at, Apollo silently indicated towards the place that he wanted me to go to. It seemed to be a in a strange place, but I was content. I took the map with me on my way out.

"That will show you where you are, and where you have to go," The god called out. How nice of him.

* * *

I made it across the few states with relative ease, stopping only to rest and eat. I went from the crack of dawn to the fall of dusk, and hardly broke a sweat doing it under the cover of trees. At a pace that I could, and did, keep up all day, and without any weights on, it was cake.

Glancing down, my map read 'OBJECTIVE REACHED'. I decided to work on my new weapons, of which I was running with, so I could get used to their feel. Running my finger along the edge produced a sting on my finger. Looking down, I noticed it was singed. '_Dang, those are hot_,' I had barely touched it, and my finger was burned!

I suppressed a shiver as I looked around, feeling like I was being watched.

With a flash, a note appeared, with some things written on it. The first thing I noticed was the objective, 'Escape.' Next was the requirements. Next, it gave me a fake name that I MUST use, and tells me not to attack unless you are attacked first. Lastly, It said to release to destroy.

I dropped the note, and one of Apollo's appalling haikus was heard as the parchment went up with a flare.

_"This is fun for me_

_to watch you be beaten up_

_by a bunch of girls!"_

I looked around again, seeing lots of bright, white orbs in the bushes. A bunch of girls... in the middle of the wilderness... nope, doesn't ring a bell.

One of them stepped out, she looked to be about thirteen years old, and, sadly, two inches taller than me.

"What are you doing here?" The little girl asked. She had the most silver eyes that I had ever seen, and beautiful, auburn hair. Something was telling me that I should be cautious.

"Standing," I replied. I never was a bright one. With a rustle, all of the girls in the bushes came out, bows drawn at me, most looking scornfully at me. One of them, she had dark hair, and an attitude that screamed 'don't mess with me,' was shaking her head at me, as if trying to tell me something.

"Why?" She inquired.

"Dunno," I really was not the sharpest tool in the shed. "Why are you all pointing bows at me?"

The girl with the attitude was shaking her head violently at me now, not that I knew what that meant.

"I am Artemis, goddess of the hunt!" The small one said dramatically.

"Artemis... hunt... I've heard about that, I think," I spoke nervously, she was a goddess, after all.

The girl face palmed, hard, and slid her hand down her face, almost like she was attempting to signal me something.

Artemis snapped her hand, and all the girls shot their bows.

I jumped and twisted vertically, making myself parallel to the ground, dodging most of the arrows. The ones that I didn't dodge I swatted off with my blades in mid air. I landed on all fours, and scrambled up, to get into a better position, deflecting the huntresses arrows all the while, making some of their jaws drop.

Artemis was just watching, with cold, calculating eyes. "I suppose I forgot to ask your name," she began again.

I mhm'd an affirmative, still batting away the dwindling supply of arrows.

"So what is it?" She didn't seem like she wanted to play any games...

"The names Normous," I told her, "Dixie Normous." That seemed to be the last straw for the goddess, as she hand-signaled the stream of arrows from the girls to end. Then, she drew her own blades with a deadly grace that I could only hope to posses someday.

We hacked, slashed, and dodged one another in the graceful dance with death, trying to dart past each others guard. We fought hard, until the sun when down. Then the sun came up, bringing the promise of new strength and renewed energy. We kept fighting.

Artemis strong, my blades barely able to block hers, but we were at a standstill with my defensive, and her offensive advantages.

'_Well,_' I thought, '_Apollo didn't order me to fight them. Maybe I'll just... slip away.'_

I went Matrix on Artemis, and then I Sparta kicked her into a tree about seven meters away, and launched myself into the branches, letting the sunlight aid my leap.

And I ran.

I continued the way I came from, hoping to retrace my steps, when I reached a city that was nearby. Jumping from my tree, I walked into a Nike shop, and found some baggy, dark clothing. Manipulating the mist, I 'borrowed' the clothes and walked back outside with my hood up. I pushed my Oakley glasses that I had gotten onto my eyes, and sagged my pants a little.

Walking down the street, I couldn't help but notice all of the silver outfitted girls on the sidewalks, and looking through stores for me. I'd like to see them try to find me...

I shifted my feet past a few of them, listening to their conversation

"... Boys, all the same

Exactly... no guts, no glory

Good fighter...

I betcha he's hiding from us

Won't show to us... scared."

'_Interesting,_' I thought, '_very interesting.'_

Then, I formed a plan. A stupid plan, so stupid, it just... might work!"

My lips twitched upwards as a grin threatened to take over my face. Challenge accepted.

I sprinted towards the road, drawing the huntresses' attention and I leaped across the four lane road, and began to climb up to the top of a hotel. Reaching up and grabbing window ledges, protruding bricks, and other things on the side of the building, I made it to the top before they began climbing the building.

I leaped from roof to roof, building to building, while being chased, until I reached a dead-end. I turned around, but the girls were already beginning to overtake me. I was on the edge of the ledge, completely surrounded, when Artemis stepped forward.

"Give up foolish boy, you've nowhere to run," she says.

I leaned backwards, swords crossed across my body, and fall off of the very, very tall corporation building, and leaving the very surprised group of hunters in the dust, my body flipping around like a piece of paper in the wind.


End file.
